Is it “friendship anxiety”.…or depression ?!

Depression can feel like friendship anxiety and complicate friendships.

question:

I’ve gone through multiple friend break ups and it seems to be a recurring theme for me. I never want these friendships to end but they always fall apart because I ask too much of them.

I always have a feeling of insecurity with friends to the point where I need so much reassurance that the friend becomes exhausted. I think this tendency may spring from my ongoing depression but how can I overcome this extreme friendship anxiety ?

And how can I go about repairing friendships that have been weakened or cut off because of this ? Too frequently I’ve had friendships that have started well, escalated towards very intense then petered out for the reason above. I don’t want this to happen anymore, what can I do ?

Signed, Anonymous

answer:

Dear Anonymous,

If you feel depressed and it is complicating your friendships, you need to get to the root cause of your problem: depression. When someone is depressed, it can take a lot of energy to focus on other people.

The good news :
You seem to have a knack for making friends and you’ve recognized that you eventually ask too much of them. Try to keep this in mind and see your friends in small doses so it isn’t overwhelming for them or for you. At the same time, speak to a mental health professional "perhaps, you’re already seeing one" and ask for help. Depression is a treatable illness.

Thanks so much for posting and I hope this was helpful.